Wholly Tired
Have you even been just tired. Like more than sleepy tired. More than, "I've been working weeks on end of over time" tired...but like soul tired? I keep asking myself, what did I do to deserve any of this mess that seems to surround me? I try so hard to be a good person. I believe in karma. I believe in paying it forward. I believe and practice in random acts of kindness. I try to practice building people up, and avoiding bringing people down. And yet, here I am. Easily at the lowest point in my life that I've ever been in. I'm so tired of people telling me that I'll come out of this season okay. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That God must be trying me because there is something so much better at the end. I can't see the end, I can't see the prize and I sure as hell don't feel fine. I'm just wholly tired. Soul tired. I'm tired of not sleeping, pretending to be okay and losing my mind...I just want a break.